My Pain Has A Purpose

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My WakeUp Story

By Anya Prittie

Every story starts with a beginning. As it progresses, chapters just continue to get added. My beginning was kind of tough. Throughout my life I learned many lessons. Many broke me and changed my perspective in my mind and heart. The pain would and continued to help me grow into the lady I am now. Forever changing me in ways that I’ve finally noticed. My story began in 1998 in a small town in Russia. I was born and brought into this world. A tiny baby with a purpose to help the world in some way. I didn’t know how or even why at that time. As I continued to live life the truth would soon be revealed in a clearer way. My life wasn’t the typical childhood dream. Not the hopeful loving family scene every person hopes for. My family like most families had their own problems. My family had drinking and drug problems. It was way to hard for them to stay sober. The alcohol and drugs combined would bring out lashes of anger and abuse. I didn’t know why they didn’t love me or us. I didn’t realize until later they didn’t know how to love. They too had received broken love and carried the weight of the world on their broken hearts. That of course isn’t an excuse. However, that outlook has really helped me to mend and heal. My parents didn’t know how to be parents. They didn’t take care of us at all. My sister would have to go beg for food because our parents couldn’t afford it. There were many more trials in the home with them. We also lived in a shack together. There were dirt floors and scattered furniture. We would go outside to escape from our sad reality. We tried to survive the best we could. Most days it was tough to even do that.  As a small child when you aren’t allowed to be young or enjoy your childhood. You can grow up feeling suppressed. For me I had a hard time with letting others make decisions for me. I felt like I had the right to make my own decisions and be my own adult. Due to what I dealt with growing up. Who knew my life would change in such a drastic way so suddenly either? I would be taken from my home and transported into an orphanage. When you’re young you really don’t understand what’s happening. You just learned to adapt to the circumstance’s life gives you. The orphanage stood out in this reddish, orange color. The essence it gave wasn’t as friendly. I felt alone most of the time, hardly comprehending what my true reality was.

 

Time would move forward, and days would blend in. Repetitiveness was a constant feeling. The days to come would bring a great blessing. I was going to be adopted! Of course, I didn’t know what was really going on. Even when I was on the plane heading to my new home, I was oblivious to it all. You ever feel like you’re living a dream and one moment you will wake up… Then it will all be erased. I didn’t want that to happen. These people were so kind. They held me, they never let me skip a meal. I had never been held before either. I hadn’t ever been hugged or shown affection the way they gave it so freely. I truly enjoyed the comforting feeling they gave me. I didn’t want to be alone again. We all have a special calling in our lives. Some gift or purpose we need to share throughout our lifetime. Stories from our heart that continue forever to change lives. I hope mine changes yours. I know it may seem too far away or impossible, but healing is still possible. Letting go is one of the best methods to living a joyful and peaceful life. Years ago, I would have never thought it was possible. Looking back at certain events in life those situations still hurt me and that’s totally allowed. Perfection was erased from my mind. You can appreciate your ups and downs wholeheartedly. Life has many lessons instore for us. Each journey at a different pace. Appreciate every moment life has to offer you. Even with these years on earth, my life is forever and continuing to change. I am so utterly grateful for everything I’ve been through.  Remember that no matter how bad or tough life gets there is a purpose for your pain.

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